Joe Cool Rocks the Westfront Auditorium this Saturday

I am pretty inconsistent in my writing and for that, I am just lame. I don’t even have a great excuse like I have school and work and family. I estimate there is about 2 hours of my day that I waste doing stuff like scratching myself, hanging out in bathroom stalls trying to get a few moments of privacy, or just staring at my PC that I could dedicate to blogging more. But if I write it, will they come?

What makes a blog magical? I have read some blogs that are fantastic, well written and put together well and I read them; even if the subject isn’t necessarily in my arena. Now, that being said, I know that I am more tempted to read new blogs based on searches of things I am interested in, so I have tried using tags that were specific to my blogs like porn, sex, babies, shirtless men and broad wired big data analytics but I still struggle to find my blog niche. Maybe if I just keep writing, I will get a narrative thread, get better at writing and finally break through. Maybe.

Or maybe someday my kids will find my blog and just think what a douche there dad was. Maybe.

In recent news, I am not now or in the near future moving to Utah. There is happiness and sadness about this. I can focus on the betterment of Mike now (spending more time with friends, making new friends, fitness, recipes, making beer and just all around becoming the dude you want to hang out with this summer). I miss my boys, but maybe the little shits should visit here?

Amanda and I are participating in the 12-week Henderson Lighten Up event, which is a free city sponsored weight loss and fitness awareness program. We are mid week two right now. Both of us had a great first week, Amanda would kill me if I posted her weight, but she tore it up and crushed a 2.36 % overall weight loss. Fucking amazing! She had thought that .75% would be a lot. Admittedly, it will get harder, but what a start. She is now at Zumba working off our cheat night of AYCE Sushi.

As for me, I came in at 2.26%. Way above the 1.25% I had guessed, but well below what I am capable of. I will take it more seriously and crush the next ten weeks. I have been watching Nike Commercials all morning, and reading my fitness blogs. I follow Power of Run, who truly inspired me to get over my fear of starting to run on her post here, go check it out, very worth the read.

That’s about it, I am writing a creative blog entry for next time called 25 Hour Fitness and the power of Combat Yoga, but I am still ironing it up and polishing it off.

Big props and shouts to my friends and those that inspired, motivated, or were just there for me this past 7 days. Mahalo and love to you all. Go find your greatness this week, I am getting ready to go ride a bike, talk to you soon.


I do better in odd years

My only resolution for 2013 is to accept the things that I am in control of and learn to let go and love myself.

  • I know I will not be running a marathon in 2013, but why not eat right, run more and race a 5K?
  • I know I will not be running an Ironman in 2013, but why not a Sprint?
  • I know I will not lose 170 pounds in 2013, but with hard work, why not 130?
  • I know I will not become father of the year in 2013, but why not a better father?
  • I know I will not save $5000 (cash liquidity) in 2013, but why not work hard, pinch pennies and save $1000?
  • I know I will not become the husband of Amanda’s dreams in 2013, but why not work to capture that romance and amazement we shared when we dated and be the real husband Amanda wants?
  • I know I will not become an executive in 2013, but why not get back to school and work at it?
  • I know I will not hike the 10 highest points in the West, but why not get at least 2, and share them with someone special?
  • I know I will not finish writing a novel, become a painter or photographer in 2013, but why not practice, practice and practice and feel good about what I have done?
  • I know I will not always be there for everyone who needs me in 2013, but why not try?  Starting with being there for myself?

I have a tendency to put too much on my plate, but 2013 will be all about putting me first (I have to, and I hope it does not sound selfish – but all other things will fail if I don’t), family and health.

 May the Goddess bless you and here is to hoping your 2013 is full of success, health and the love of friends and family.


La Verdad Amarga

The OG Heat Miser

This is an angry old man, bitter post. Something my boss would call a “Heat Miser” post.  What has my underwear all up in a bunch?  Two things, and they all relate to lies.  I love my firstborn boys, tremendously. Some day they will be older men, and understand where this comes from.  This anger is not directed at them, but about life in general and they are part of that.  As are you and I and all things.

I have fairly been abandoned by my two oldest.  It was expected from one, as all boys when they hit a certain age find romance, sex, love, sex, jobs, sex and sex and I was prepared, even though it was ill-timed.  The other, not so much.  My younger oldest has always been a little buddy (where his older brother has always been a good friend and son), as my younger has a sense of humor very similar to mine.  His abandonment of me stings in a way I was unprepared for.

I am angry that both of them have bought into their mothers lies and deceit and disillusionment and games she has played out against me for years.  I said it here, and she would (will) be reasonably taken aback when she reads it that for all the things wrong with us, she has been the greatest schemer, where I wore who I was on my sleeve.  And at some point, my boys have fallen into that trap.

I hope that when my boys become men, all that they can remember of their youth was a father who loved them dearly, though he had faults, and I tried to not to lead them astray or give in them a false sense of the world; and maybe that too is a failing.

Needless and reckless to say; and mom, I am sorry, I will not be wasting my limited resources coming back to a Salt Lake City, which has become a place I am not wanted by my main reason for coming each month, as it has just become a cruel reminder of the many ways I am not wanted there.  I will surely miss the greatness of the SL valley, and more importantly, the short times I got to see my boys, but in the planning of trips, I am continually told that there are plans, well sir, I am done planning.  When they are ready to see me again, I will run to them.  Until then, and I guess they are happy with it, a card for Christmas and their birthday is all that they want from me.

The second reason for my anger and probably less passive aggressive, is my lies to myself which I have discussed before.  I cannot continue living the lies I tell myself every day; that I am going to do this or that, I am going to be a triathlete, I am good at my job, I am happy.  I cannot be honest to myself and live that way, it goes against my greater sense of ethic.

The good news?  I can do something about it.  At least that I can solve, right?  Activity, Play, gym, healthy food choices, hiking, walking with my best friend, going to Lake Mead, going to the pool with the kids.  These things will allow the lie to fade and I will be left with the bitter truth.

I am just a man; a man faulted – no saint, a sinner, but doing the best he can, for those he loves.

Until next time, a more positive post, I assure you – just had to vent tonight.