I knew a guy who dated Shauna Lake

I have been struggling with my mid-week blog, well, blogging in general and I should not be.  I mean, I am a funny son of a bitch, I’ve lived in Texas and I think the gays should marry.  Right there, bam, that is a blog that should write itself, right?

You would think so, but it takes a lot of energy.  Energy fueled by Chinese food, hummus and sushi – and the occasional trifecta of stomach indulgence called the gut bomb (it was easier when I lived by El Taco Feliz, but now I have to go to two restaurants to get this gourmet treat of chicken fingers, enchilada as chip dip and deep fried bar food).

With an intro like that you can probably guess the tone that this blog will take, but you would be wrong faithful reader.  Lets start off with the numbers (something I am lifting from Kai Rizdall on NPR)

Weight:  Hovering around 342-343
Letters / Thank you’s written:  3
Gym Visits (PTD – Project To Date): 4.75
Items Crossed off of 40 while 40 list: 2 (more on that next blog)
Days without Smartphone: 16
Biological fathers written: 1 (more on that next blog)

So what I wanted to talk about was why I want to lose the weight; I have mentioned my first journey out of FatAsserville was because of anger, this time I have 6 better reasons:

Sexy people!

Sexy people!

Yes, that is Matthew McConaughey and you are asking why?  Well, shit, its Matthew “the shirtless God” McConaughey.  Friends with Lance Armstrong and pot aficianado.  If I can’t earn his respect, well then, shit.  Also, he says things like “Cool, its Cool” and “Alright, alright!”  Also, also, Amanda does a pretty good impression.

OK that was a joke, here is the real photo and why:

SEXIEST People!

SEXIEST People!

Starting from the lower left:

1 – Amanda:  The love of my life, the partner, my BFF and better half.  I want need to be there for her when we get old.  And also, it will help if her friends think I am sexy.  She will get the esteem of having a hot husband in his forties.

2 – Alex:  That is a picture from a few years ago when his hair was longer, I liked him more back then, he was around. Though I still love him, I never hear from him.  I use to not think this would bother me, but maybe I feel my own mortality. And I want to be there, when he is ready to come back to me.  And he will, I promise.

3 – Anthony:  That is the ciggy pop pose I got him to do.  The kid does everything shirtless.  Anthony is rough; he hasn’t had a real good father figure and I don’t want him to think it is OK to be lazy and fat. I want him, like my other boys, to go hiking and fishing and camping and run and play and love me as much as I love him.

4 – Ayden:  Like I mentioned before, I get her for only about 35-50 years somewhere in there.  I want to see her graduate, marry and hopefully have a baby before I fucking die.  I want the rest of my life dedicated to making sure that the vision she has of men is one that we can be proud of and keeps her off the fucking pole.

5 – Adam:  (see #2) Like Alex, I kind of have lost Adam.  He would rather play his WiiStationbox 4 with his friend than come down to see me or spend a lot of time talking to me. But I still love the bugger.  I was his age once, but again, don’t want the short times we spend together wasted cause I am fat.  I want to paintball and shoot him in the face.

6 – Autumn:  I may have already lost Autumn to the pole at 10 years.  She is ten going on thirty.  I love autumn tremendously, she is so intelligent and creative and at the same time makes me want to bash my own damn head in.  She is going to be a heart-breaker at 16 and I need t o be ready to beat some young man’s ass.  Also, I need to show her it is cool to run and play and be fit, and like yourself.

That kind of explains it.  I included my wedding picture because even on January 7th, 2012, I knew I had backslid and was going the wrong way and had already gained back thirty pounds by then.  That was sixty-five pounds ago; but that is the past.  I am working hard, and working smart and I will get down to 175 in a little over a year; one fucking pound at a time.

Some other folks I’d like to thank for their motivation and part in my weight loss for reasons personal and public:

24 Hour Fitness – Wigwam and the good people working there, Mike B (for believing in me almost as much as my wife and just patiently waiting until I kick his ass at climbing), David G (for both motivating me with kindness as well as annoyance), my parents who have both had their own success with weight this year – way to go mom and dad, and of course all my blog friends who I read and for some reason don’t get read back 9but your stories always inspire me to be the athlete you are and that I can be).

Thanks for stopping by