Week One and Done

There are very few things that can replenish your soul and are more gratifying to instant self-esteem boost than a good haircut.  Hopefully later today I am the recipient of said haircut.

The first week of the new year has been a good one.  I am coming a long way from where I was the last week of 2012 mentally and emotionally and that is a good thing.  I know that for those of us with addictive personalities anyway, it is hard to find balance.  People who have never dealt with addiction have no bar of comprehension to the spiral insanity that one goes down.  I have found in my 39 years that there are many things that you can be addicted to; booze, porn, food.  Some less obvious like hurt, shame and pain.  Lately, and for the last couple of years I have had less of a problem with the obvious addictions but have found myself hurting inside more than when I was.  Luckily, I have had the most beautiful family and most supportive friends surrounding me and carrying my weight for the last year.  I know I say it a lot, but that is why 2013 is going to be Epic, because I am really going to try to show these folks that their faith in me was well placed.  I am lucky.  In his own way, my boss even is supportive.  I am lucky indeed.

quick interjection from Mike’s asshole psyche – I have read several tweets, posts, status updates, etc. which proclaim that 2013 has already been amazing and cannot get any better.  Really?  I feel very bad for you, since there are still 359 more days this year.  You thought High Scholl was also the best time of your life too, didn’t you? 

One quirk that I’d like to get a handle on is my ability to build things up in my mind, good and bad.  I know that a lot of people build up events like parties or the holidays to epic proportions (see statement in second paragraph about making 2013 epic, I guess I am one of these too) then are a little let down when they fail to meet the standards.  I do this somewhat, but I do it on the opposite side.

Take for example, my Facebook post from yesterday.  I know the sarcasm is subtle, but try to read between the lines:

“GREATEST DAY EVER! I get to spend hours at the mall. On Saturday.  With teen, preteen and baby. Rock the EFF on!”

Amanda Before cut, this is one year ago - no haircut between

Amanda Before cut, this is one year ago – no haircut between

GORGEOUS!  she takes good photos, watch for her new blog coming soon

GORGEOUS! she takes good photos, watch for her new blog coming soon

OK, so maybe it wasn’t as subtle that I did not look forward to this event.  However, I had a good time. Amanda was donating her hair to Wigs for Kids (A really amazing event hosted graciously by Galleria Mall on sunset and with cuts and style donated by MasterCuts), Autumn and I got to spend some time talking, as did Anthony  and I.  The baby was very good.  We all shared cookies and had a nice lunch at MiMi’s Cafe.  So, shame on me for thinking I was going to have a bad time.  I am becoming my mother’s child more and more.  My mother does not like to leave her house, more on that another time.

The one thing I did not think through last week was that my workout schedule may have been  a little aggressive.  I think I was picking up right where I left off 100 pounds ago.  Nope, starting over a-hole.  As much as I am inspired by my blog-friends, I am not in the same place yet as they are. Someday, but not yet.  So last week, I made some gains, but not as many as my addictive mind thought I should but in an effort to understand better healing; I know that I am in a better place than I was one week ago and when I plan my workout this week, I realized I am going to have to take a few weeks to get back into shape in order to get back into shape, so I am slowing it down.  First, reducing the frequency and second reducing the intensity / duration.

For now, I guess that is as good as a weekly update as I can provide, and for those not entertained yet, hang with me – I am getting a book on becoming a better blogger, so have faith.

Ciao!

 Workout Week #2 all with my good friends at Fitness19 in Henderson

M – 30 minute bike, 5 minute cool down / 10 minute stretching

T – 2 Circuit resistance training / 10 minutes stretching

W – 30 minute bike, 5 minute cool down / 10 minute stretching

TH – 2 Circuit resistance training / 10 minutes stretching

F – 30 minute bike, 5 minute cool down / 10 minute stretching

Sa – 45 Minute bike

Su – Active Rest with family

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Untitled Masterpiece

“Here is to good friends, tonight is kind of special” – Lowenbrau Beer Ad

Lowenbrau

It just so happens that my second oldest child has been visiting for the Christmas holiday this past week, and is going home tomorrow.  But for the short time he has been with me, I am reminded of his keen wit and sense of humor; of which, I feel a great responsibility for shaping, sometimes wrongly.  I am fortunate enough now to share my grandiose and often blue sense of humor with Anthony, Autumn and Ayden.

 As most families do, we were playing a game of “If Mom Died”, over dinner, we began to discuss the succession of the presidency of our house; this is a fun and educational experience where you learn a lot about who really rules the roost.  I decided if mom dies, that I as vice president would take over.  I said it would be a lot more fun, because I am more like Uncle Joe Bidden, out looking for poontang.  Immediately regretting this in front of my current audience ranging from 15 years to 7 months; I pushed on with the subject.

 I told the kids that Alex, as the oldest, would then be next as Speaker of the House, followed by Adam as the President Pro Tempe of the Senate (I likened him to Harry Reid for an inside joke, but he did not get it), and then Anthony as the Secretary of State.  At this point, I could not remember the succession, I told the family it would go to Autumn as secretary of something.  As I tried to remember if it was Secretary of Interior or Defense, she blurted out to nobody in particular, “I know, I am the Secretary of Poontang”.  To which we all tried to hide our laughter.  Me, I tried to hide my disappointment; I wanted to be Secretary of Poontang.

 This conversation for me sums up 2012.  It has been a year of highs and lows, mostly highs – but the lows run deep.  Both Amanda and I have had to fight back from a dark spot of the blues, and I think we are doing a fine job.  Some of our other remarkable achievements in this year of change include getting married, becoming a one income family, saying hello to a new baby, saying goodbye to the truck, welcoming in Mark with his marriage to Mimi, getting and losing an iPhone and finally, realizing maybe what we thought we had always wanted is not necessarily what we want or need any more, for both of us.

 A lot of 2012 for me was awfully sedentary and I have paid a huge price for it; mentally, emotionally and physically but luckily, ours is a house of love and happiness, for the most part; I will be working on some of the small pieces (see my last post) as will Amanda.  But in our house, all are welcome, and all are invited.  I am the most fortunate man to have married the woman I did and have the kids and family I do.  That is why my resolution list was short.  I summed it up to Amanda perfectly the other day, 2013 will be the year I become the man I want to hang out with today.  Easy, right?

 I see A LOT of changes coming in 2013; possibilities that two years ago I would not have thought, but it will amaze and excite.  I wrap up the last 16 hours of 2012 with a heart not heavy of things I left undone, but with the warmth of my family, the love of my life and the excitement to create 2013 in my view, and probably lots more events like the one at the start of the post.

 I raise my coffee to you, yours and all; here is to old friends, new friends and those I have not yet met.  Good journey and happy, blessed,  New Year