Weekly Roundup: Week 3

download (1)Week 3 will live in infamy. I promised an update weekly, and that is what I am doing. I am not proud of myself, and I am not even going to countdown the numbers. BUT, I have hope. I spoke to Alex for 30 minutes this morning, which was way awesome. It makes me sure of my intent and desire in that ONE area. I think Amanda is behind me, now we just have to, well, make it happen and do it.

I had a good weekend of reflection, a friend of mine who use to work at C1B just completed his first Sprint Tri (Congrats Mike S.), and it got my energy re-invested. I am going to try something this coming week 4 which I have not tried before. Two-a-days on Monday’s and Wednesday’s. Kind of funny since I am goose-egged for this week. My big goal, the Pumpkin Man on October 19th. I am re-motivated to do a tri this year. I will still be GROSSLY overweight, but I will compete none-the-less. By my math, I will be between 260-250 pounds and that is about where I was when I fell apart. Even if it takes me two hours, I am going to participate.

The one thing that happened this week more than anything was the number of people who reminded me why I want to be thin. Some because of what and how they said it, and some because of how and what they have been saying. Here are some of the words I heard this week, some to me, about me and some not even related to me, but full of a reminder. You tell me which ones motivate:

 “Man, you use to ride the bike to work even when it was 112 degrees outside, we saw”

“You looked really good”

“You can do this man, you are too strong”

“I love you no matter how you are”

“I am tired of fat people thinking they are healthy, they aren’t…”

“Slow and Steady…”

“I am behind you, whatever you need”

Wow, some powerful messages; 6 of loving support and 1 of stupidity from a someone who equates skinny with healthy – Sorry, but fit is healthy, skinny is a measure of size. Words are magic, man, seriously.  Your tongue has no bones but can break many hearts.  This week I am dedicated to a) not saying anything negative and b) really trying to empathize and listen for anyone who really needs it.

Again, I am so lucky to have love behind me, and it kind of embarrasses me to have wasted 1 week when I only have 52 to get all 40 things done on my list. I won’t squander another, and that is a promise.

And in closing, and my weekly promise, the one thing I found that I liked about myself was that my resume is up to date. And it shines.

Talk to you mid-week.

Dark Secrets of a Wanna-Be Executive (aka creepy corporate culture)

An honest life is a hard life to live; that is a piece of what my 40 while 40 is about – really discovering the man I am and the man I am still to be.  But it is also about having fun, a lot of fun growing with my family and my friends and myself.  It is very hard to be honest with yourself.  I think it is actually easier to be honest with others, unless of course they are asking about you.

You like?

You like?

“Doing great, thanks!”
“We are all good!”
“Out of sight!”I probably said each of those once over the last week, the last one is a little weird, I agree.  Stuff it, I said it and I probably thought I meant it.  But the truth is, no, I am probably NOT at 100%.  I do not see myself the way other see me. I cannot for some reason, but I am trying.  And that is my week one item I like about myself.  I like that I can always try to be a best version of myself, and try to see myself the way others do.  I may not always show it, but I do; and often I like what they see. Sometimes, I see the truth of what they see and it inspires me.

Back to honesty, I had gone into this week with the utter intention of working out 7 days this week, working on the walking, moving toward running, etc. But the truth of the matter is that I have had one mediocre workout as it got interrupted by two of the beautiful girls in my life.  I REALLY need to get into the gym; for my health, love and family as well as my own enjoyment of riding the bike and lifting the weights.

Left, their idea of yoga; right, what it looks like for me (hell, I wish I was that flexible)

Left, their idea of yoga; right, what it looks like for me (hell, I wish I was that flexible)

There is a darker side too, to the weight loss.  I work in a corporate culture that rewards folks that are more fit.  I look at the executives at my company and for right or wrong, those that are “going somewhere” within company are runners, cyclists, athletes all.  I am regaled with stories of seeing the CEO at hot yoga (hey, for me, any yoga is hot and sweaty), or the AVP in Human Resources that is running the half marathon and so on. It is painfully obvious what I need to do to get ahead at work.  Fuck the fact that I have basically taught myself Business Intelligence Applications development, SQL Server and SRSS while employed and underpaid there, now I got to lose 140 pounds too.

**DISCLAIMER – I work for a great company, with great people under me, peers and leadership; I am fortunate to have great mentors and friends there, I just hate the fact that is sometimes is surface over substance in some views.  The company itself is a caring, community minded leader on the cutting edge of what or mission, vision and values are, and am proud of the work I do and for who, truly I am.  I also  know who reads my blog **Truly, I need to lose the weight anyway, but I digress.  Pardon my venting.

Basically then week one of 40 while 40 saw some highs and lows, I went and got the photo of myself at valley of Fire like I wanted and posted last time, so I can cross that off my list.  I wrote a couple of thank you notes to some colleagues. That made me feel good, to foster a thankful attitude.  I also wrote the rough draft of the letter to bio dad.  So yes, I did not work out, but I can cross three things off and am on track with two others.

What to do now?  I am headed to the gym with my wife who was just Freshly Pressed (awesome, baby!) where I will put in some work on the bike and some abs.  Then a steam.  This week, I plan on really focusing on getting back into the gym and getting ready for a couple of events that fall on the same day 35 days from today.  My mid-week blog will be about the events, hold your breath.

Thanks for stopping by.

FACTS Week One:
Weight: 345
Letters / Thank Yous written:  3
Gym Visits: .75
Items crossed of 40 while 4 list to date:  1
Days without SmartPhone:  11