Thoughts of a wannabe loser, a blog post

Trying to lose weight is very difficult. Its easy to stutter and have to start many times over. Its also very easy to get trapped into trying things to speed up the process, motivate you or just do out of some level of self-loathing.

I find myself over the last two to fifteen months in that hamster wheel where you start, stop and gain. The SSG principal a lot of dieters get into. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about this and have decided there are some rules you have to live by. Some of them are not new, most in fact, but it is a new observation for me.

1. It is not a diet–This is the most important thing to remember. If you diet, you WILL lose weight, I promise, but I also know from years of experience that you will gain it back. The only successful way to keep weight off is to make long-term (life) changes to the choices you make regarding the food you eat and your activity level. They don’t have to be terrifically theatrical like a juice fast, going vegan, eating only non-processed free range organic duck liver; but they do have to be different than what you are doing now. And for the love of all that is holy, drink more water. If you think you drink enough, double it.
2. Do not keep up with the Jones’–I have a good friend, like a brother to me actually, and I have only known him a few years; but he inspires me so much but that can be dangerous too. You cannot chose to live vicariously through someone else. This friend is turning 30, he is a decade younger than I (I am literally 33% older than he) so his body acts and reacts different to stress, fatigue and activity. I cannot be him. In fact, as much as he inspires me, and we have similar interests, I don’t want to be him (sometimes I feel like our overlord does). I want to be the best me that I can and that includes doing some of the stuff he does like biking or hot Pilates, because they sound amazing and they are fantastically healthy. Let him be him, you be you and I will be the me; we will just be the best we can.
3. It is going to hurt, sometimes a lot, but find your inner super hero–I didn’t know I had inspired anyone. See, I yo-yo’d because I lost focus, reason, clarity and goals. I had gone from nearly 400 pounds down to 250-245, in a little more than a year. How? Hard fucking work. So much so that I was about to get those words tattooed on my knuckles. I started running, and it hurt. I biked to work, and some days it hurt. I actually became the bike guy. I did not have car, and I rode my bike everywhere. My son and I would go to the grocery store, ride the strip, I’d ride to work – hell, my wife fell in love with the bike guy (it is awfully hard an embarrassing to tell your first date, guess what I have no car; you become afraid she will be singing “No Scrub”). Somewhere I become the boyfriend guy, then the engaged guy, then the father to be guy then the truck guy, then the mini-van guy and then the 330 pound guy again. I forgot my superhero alter identity, Bike Guy – until recently. One of my employees who is new to my team, said that Bike Guy had inspired him and a lot of people. It made me feel good. I felt like Superman in Superman 3 when he is a drunk bum; or any movie where the hero got a gut and then a montage later, he was svelte again. I really need a montage, but I am willing to put in the hard, heavy work. And hurt from time to time.
4. You have to have a reason–Originally my reason to lose the weight was hatred, raw and burning loathing for the woman who told me it was impossible for me to change. I wanted to prove to my ex she was wrong. After 50 pounds, I realized it was really about me, then it became about wanting to run a triathlon. Then, well, I just forgot. It became easy for me to eat doughnuts again or skip workouts. But here I am at the nexus of turning forty, and it is going to get harder, and I have SO much I still want to be able to do like play soccer, climb, canoe and yes run triathlon. But the biggest reason is that I have a beautiful family that I need to be around to take care of, and to do that right, I have to put my health needs first.
5. You have to have the most amazing support structure–I mean the most amazing. Loved ones and friends that are willing to not roll your eyes when you say, “I swear, in the morning, no more hot dogs”, or when you come home “hone, I am not eating solid foods for ten days”. Hell, they not only cannot roll their eyes, they have to go out and buy you the veggies to juice. Your support system is there to listen and love you no matter what. That being said, they are not responsible for your weight loss and lifestyle and you cannot ask them to change to meet your needs. Remember that, let them be the best they can, but you be the best you can. That being said, if you can find a fitness or accountability buddy – do it, you chances for success are that much better.

Anyway, these are just some of the things I had been thinking over the last week and realizing where I had forgotten my path, especially the superhero alter ego. It is time for me to bring back Bike Man I think and do battle with the jack asses in their car.

Go move today.

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One for One

 I made a promise, like Tara Costa, yesterday for every like on my FB status by midnight, I was going to run, hike, bike, swim or walk one mile in the name of that person or someone they designate.  In my foolish mind, I saw this status getting shared and people liking it to the point that maybe a few hundred people liked it and boy was I going to be in trouble.

Yes, at 39.75 years old, I am still naive enough to think that people give a damn about what I do or think.  Hence the blog and my continued exhaustive use of Facebook, Twitter and Instagram to promote what I am eating, visiting or my baby.  I cannot commit to a blog post daily, like my blog friend ELISARIVA who just posted 366 posts for one each day of 2012; I am just not that interesting and I know it, but I digress; I DID expect more likes to that status than I got.  Want to guess?

Eleven

Eleven likes.  BUT, here is the amazing thing about it.  You really learn about the people who truly care.  About the people who take more than a moment to appreciate the things in life that are important to you. I am not saying my other 165 FB friends don’t care, they are busy with their own things.  But these 11 folks have moved me beyond what I thought one hundred likes would have inspired me to do.

Therefore, instead of running a mile for my friend Mike, for example, I am dedicating a whole workout event to these eleven people one at a time.  A workout that means something to me.

My friend, my wife, my pain in the ass

My friend, my wife, my pain in the ass

So, without further ado, my first workout of 2013 is dedicated to Amanda, of course.  To most, this workout was nothing more than a 35 minutebike ride in the gym, not very heroic. But to me it was much more than that.  It was a step, the step, in ensuring that the dreams Amanda and I have are going to happen.  I have not been to the gym consistently in more than 8 weeks, and have been eating poorly for triple that.  So for me to shake it off and get in and just get lost in the ride was a step I had to take.  Amanda has been there through many highs and lows with me already and has stood proudly by my side and loved me unconditionally.  I was worried about our marriage at first (right after we got engaged) and even about the wisdom of having a baby; but Amanda set her sails on she and I for the rest of our lives, and I owe it to her to do this for her and I.  because if I am not in the gym for me, I will not be there for her.  I love you baby, thank you for being my rock even when you feel like you are sitting on sand.  All other workouts are just footnotes, in reality, to this one.I have ten more people to thank and let know how much they inspire me, along the way, I will see the tops of mountains, eat dirt on a mountain bike, cross the finish line of a triathlon, and many other things both mundane and epic.  I will reach my goals this 2013 and you are welcome along.Thanks to Fitness19, Southern Fried Chicken in Vegas, and the Goddess for today’s workout