I never done this before; wait, just once

I have never been asked to share a recipe before, even though unsolicited, I have; and those cookies were motherfracking delicious AND Paleo friendly.  I was asked for the recipe for my to-be-World-Famous Squash Puree, aka, Mike’s baby food.

I DO know I got this recipe somewhere else, but I have modified it a bit to suit my taste and honestly, it has been over a year so I cannot remember where but so you don’t think I am a total Paleo Douche….

To the complete and utter stranger who inspired me with your amazing, if not Mike friendly acorn squash dish, I salute you and say one-thousand thanks in your name.  I would give you full credit here, but I am too lazy to Google search the recipe again.

OK, diligence is the key to success.


Mike’s Baby Food

Go ahead, throw some blackberries up on there. MMMM-mmmm

2 Acorn Squash (and it is perfect time of year, it IS Decorative Gourd season, motherfucker)

4 T Coconut oil, more or less, you will see – read on

¼ to ½ cup Silk Coconut Milk (I use Vanilla or in a pinch ½ canned Thai coconut oil)

Pure Cinnamon to taste or pie spices, nutmeg, whatever you have that goes with squash

2 T PB2 or the like

1 to 6 New Castle Dark Ale (for you, not the food)

This recipe makes 4-6 servings, depending on how much you want, by my calculations, I have mentioned 2 squash, I figure ½ squash per serving or so (it equals about .75 ounces weight per serving)

  1. Sharpen your best chef knife after drinking your first beer, it makes it more fun.
  2. Cut the Squash in half and clean out all the seeds and cord, hollow that bitch out like you are making a squash jack-o-lantern, leaving the orange flesh and rind
  3. Take 1T of Coconut Oil and smear the orange flesh in the hollow and along the cut edge, this will help in the roasting.  Use more or less as needed.  Do this on all four halves
  4. Probably ready for another beer, now that you have that sloppy mess all over your hands
  5. Roast the shit out of the squash.  I roast mine at 425 for about 40 minutes before I even look.  Roast until the rind chars a bit and the flesh starts to bubble and brown
  6. Let squash cool
  7. When cool, peel rind from flesh and place the orange flesh into a blender or Cuisinart Food Processor. 
  8. Once all the flesh is in the processor, and if you have a small girly processor it may be two batches, give it a few pulses to whack the big chunks apart.
  9. Pour in ¼ of the coconut milk and let the processor run
  10. You can puree this by letting the processor run and pouring a little more milk, I recommend staying under ½ cup to get the squash flavor (all nutty and the sugars are really coming out).  I like mine pureed severely, others like a little chunk in their trunk so that is your option
  11. When it is near the consistency you desire, put in the cinnamon to taste, about a teaspoon at the most (remember, you want an accent, not a flavor) and PB2.  This is a powdered peanut butter product that is amazing in this and smoothies and cookies.  Go buy it.  It adds a little more nuttiness, and if there is one thing my wife likes is nut.
  12. Pulse for a few more seconds and voila, Mike’s Baby Food.

Serve as you would and in place of oatmeal on a cold autumn morning, heated; or you can serve it cold.  I actually prefer it cold (but I am goofy that way).  OR, you can try serving it my favorite way, and yes, I have done this – in a plastic ziplock baggie with the corner cut off so you can squeeze it into your mouth while on the bike.  It is awesome that way.

So, anyway, I probably have a lot more to learn about sharing recipes, but all in all, this is a really good breakfast and the kids seem to like it.

Until next time amigos, stay frosty.


Version 2-Paleo, Crossfit and Rain

Generals know that it is very difficult to gain back ground once it is lost.  I completely understand this comment. Welcome to my new and improved blog.  Yes, yes, we have heard it all before, Mike gets a wild hair up his ass, and re-invents something. Let’s all see if this will stick.

Back to my original point and to catch everyone up to speed.  Here is the last two and one-half years, hopefully in order:

Divorce, 375 pounds (or so), near suicidal, Alex moves in with me, become bike commuter, lose 75 pounds, meet best woman in the world, hike, hike some more, lose an additional 25 pounds, begin C25K, lose additional; 25 pounds, move in with best woman in the world, Alex moves back to Salt Lake City, plateau in weight loss at 250, get engaged, discover pregnant, change wedding plans, get married, have baby, realize I had gained back 40 pounds, commit to losing, realize gained back 10 more pounds, get told by two very important people (my tattoo artist/friend and the best woman in the world) in two different ways not to give up, decide to talk less about what I want to do and do more, realize I had hit 316.6 pounds again.  August 1st comes

Phew, all of that in two and one-half to three years.  It has been a whirlwind and I am excited.  August 1st I made the decision that I was still in charge and if I truly wanted to run triathlon, I needed to do something drastic, so Amanda and I decided to eat cleanly, 90% of the time, following the Paleo method of eating AND recommitting to my fitness obsession.  It has been working, since August 1st, I have lost 18 pounds on the dot.  Yes, a lot of that was the dreaded “bloat” weight, but it is staying off and that is cool.  That is where I am today.

I am hoping this blog, instead of being about my bucket list or my want to do, it is going to become about the things I DID and how I got there.  There is a difference.  I WILL talk about goals and planning, but more about the journey now as opposed to the ideas.  I can’t be the worst blogger I know any longer, I am too fucking creative.  I have also been inspired by two other bloggers, RunningForDummies and PetiteAthleat.  These ladies are pretty amazing in their own way, so go check out their blog.  Of course, I can’t be a total ass and shout out for two blogs by women without giving mad props to my own wife’s blog, about her own journey (of a different nature, more ho to housewife than a road to Kona), SouthernFriedinVegas.  She is hilarious, go check her out.  Just click there.

One of the first things I am doing, is ensuring that at my 24 Hour Fitness, I am attending Group X Body Pump classes, so that will start this week, watch for a blog on that.  The other thing, and this is very strange indeed for me, is that I am thinking about trying some Crossfit.  I know, right?  Those that know me, know I have a burning goofy and unfounded vitriol for these folks.  The NASCAR of the fitness world; but, Crossfit of Henderson is opening soon just down the road from me, and I drive by it daily. I am trying to get an opportunity to use it for a few weeks just to see what this Crossfit is, from the inside!  It is hard not to look for Paleo recipes and not be inundated with Crossfitters and their socks and their WOD and their “Hurts so good”.  I called them the NASCAR of fitness, but they are more the Tony Robbins of fitness.  I have dogged on them, maybe out of jealousy (?), so I decided I need to see what is to it.  I weigh 298, so I may die.  Truly, I am a little bit afraid of this workout, but I am told

Don’t worry Mike, Crossfit is Scalable”

 Um, OK?  Is that supposed to make me feel better?  How about you promise me I won’t die or you won’t kill me and we both win.

If you look close, you can see the ACTUAL streaks of rain

It is a rainy day here in Henderson, I am at home sick, so I baked.  My biggest problem with Paleo is baking, especially Pancakes, more on that in another post, so I decided to make some Paleo cookies, using a very basic recipe that I modified.  Below is that recipe.  The cookie was amazing.  Debbie Fields or that Famous Amos guy have no worries, but for the first time, I have found a Paleo baking recipe I can sink my teeth into, literally.  The recipe I modified called for a lot of grapeseed oil, so next time I may cut that back.  These end up being about 90 calories, and make about two and one-half dozen, they are pretty damn good though, even with the higher than I would like calorie (for such a small cookie).  For someone new to Paleo, you have to learn right away that this is not a low-calorie fad, it is a way of living that is rough, but you feel so good.  And things like these cookies make it a touch easier.


MMMM, can you smell them?

2 ½ C Almond Flour (meal)
½ t Baking Powder
½ t Sea Salt
1 Cup Dark Chocolate (or carob) chips
3T Powdered Peanut Butter (there will be a whole blog post about this; I use “Just Great Stuff” Brand)
1T Vanilla
½ C GrapeSeed Oil
½ C Agave Maple Syrup

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees and line a cookie sheet with wax paper or parchment.  Mix the dry ingredients in a big bowl, the wet ingredients in a smaller bowl.  Just use a fork, no need for the blender on this, Almond Meal doesn’t bunch up like flour.  Combine the wet into the dry.  And reach into the bowl with your clean hands and grab about 2T worth of dough, it will be a touch oily and seem wet, but its cool, you are looking for a wad of dough about the size just smaller than a ping pong ball.  Drop it onto the cookie sheet and either flatten a little or not (they don’t seem to fall like a traditional cookie while cooking, so smash them if you like thin and crispy).  Pop them into the oven for no more than 7-8 minutes tops. Set out to cool and then eat, enjoy.  The kids will love these too. Have a couple with a banana and you have a great power snack for a rainy day.

Thanks for coming by, follow me on Twitter at 360nomore or email at 360nomore@gmail.com