I am a firm believer that there is a higher power out there. Maybe more than one. A lot of folks don’t know this about me, but almost ten years ago to the day, I had decided I wanted to be a Lutheran Pastor. I was going to go to parochial school, I started looking and planning on moving to Colorado where the nearest ELCA ministry college was. I was 29 and on the fast track with God; but then I stopped hearing his voice, then I stopped even listening. Then, even I stopped caring. That was ten years ago, and in that time, I have come to grips with that loss of faith and the empirical worship I have now. I follow a greener, more pagan fellowship with my God and Goddess now. And I am happy, if not a little lackadaisical in my worship. Remedy needed.
My point is not about religion and whether my God is better than your God (he kind of is, but later on that – Just kidding, same god, different belief structure). But my point is rather about hearing the voice of God or the Goddess. I believe you can hear or see or feel the power of that which is outside of you if you listen. I believe that every day we are getting messages from powers greater than ourselves, we just are not in tune with them.
So this week, when I have read or heard on NPR, three stories of men no older than 42 at my weight dying of heart failure, it grabbed my attention. By the balls.
Look, I procrastinate, I get caught up, I want and need and desire things right damned now. And sadly, I know that doesn’t work. Sometimes I pontificate just to pontificate because I like to read my own words. This is not one of those times. I have sucked the joy out of being a jolly fat guy, and am tired of people calling me big guy. But, not unlike 2010, I find it hard to just get off the couch.
Granted this week the typhoon that is a bad spring cold has run through our house but-raping everyone as it goes. So, I have a VIABLE reason not to work out the last three days, But what about the week before that, or before that, or….You get the point, right?
Amanda and I started the Henderson Lighten up determined to crush the competition, and the first week we totally did, that was 5 weeks ago, and I am now as heavy if not slightly heavier than when we started (my scale only goes to 335, and my reckoning, that puts me at 337-342).
I am going to start small, I have already realized that if I am going to lose this weight, I have to be realistic. I probably will not be a competitive triathlete by October, But 2013 can always be the year where I turned this shit around for good and got the fam involved and we lived healthier ever after right? Right. So I am going to start my goal off small. Our next weigh in for the Henderson Lighten Up is next Wednesday, I am determined to be able to read my own weight on my own scale, and then we can get a new goal right? Right.
I overheard another message this week, maybe not from a higher power, but maybe from all the Nike YouTube I have been watching, ‘Stop chasing your dream, go make your dream’ and I loved it. Amanda asked me this week, which was the biggest motivation ever, if I was going to do the C25K training again, as she was thinking of joining me. WOW! How much of a message from your higher power is that? Your spouse wants to run with you? I always have excuses for not running again, but I am done with them. After a couple weeks maintenance and to get my endurance where it needs to be, I am going to start this amazing program over again, with my wife!
Anyhoo, I don’t have much more to say than that. I will post again next week, let you know about the weigh in, running plans and maybe talk about the difference between healthy porn obsession and unhealthy addiction.